I was looking up the address of the bar I’m performing at tonight (Corner Club-Woodland Hills) and some Yelp reviews came up so I thought I’d read a few. My favorite excerpt is this:

“Gents this is the place to pick up bar chicks. Plenty of woman party here (pornstars included!) late 20’s, 30’s and 40’s looking to get down like they did when they were younger. Now they aren’t perfect 10’s but they’ll more than get the job done after a few rounds of drinks.”

Pornstars included?! What is this, heaven? Women in their 20’s looking to get down like when they were younger? What, like when they were 16? Now that’s a bar I would go to.  “Now they aren’t perfect 10’s” -by that I think the author means ten year old porn stars. And, “they’ll more than get the job done after a few rounds of drinks”- yuck.

I think Yelp should give another option to review the  Yelpers posts. Yelp already ask, “Was this review…FUNNY, USEFUL, COOL?” I think the new option should be: “Was this review…Funny, Useful, RAPEY?”

In closing, I can’t wait to perform for old washed up 20- year- old porn stars.