July 17, 2009
Hey there folks, this update is coming to you from Trinidad, California. This place is awesome, there is fog everywhere, sea lions bark me to sleep, and Andrew and I have a private cottage. I want to live here and never ever leave. The house has been decked out with tons of bric-a-brac but it somehow looks tasteful. I took pics so that I could study them and learn a few things about this thing called “decorating”.
Pic of the cottage
July 13, 2009
I don’t really have much to say, just updating my blog because I feel as though I should. Almost a writing exercise. Oh, here’s something: I did my first open mic Thursday night. It went well in that I got some laughs and I told every joke I wanted to. I always hate it when people say, “I got some laughs”. It makes me hate them because I think they have more confidence than I do. Ah well, I guess it was about time I gave up that bad habit.
Here’s something else: I gave up the practice of hating people because they say, “I got a laugh”.
Also, I updated my blog!
“XOXO on all the pink parts.” this is a quote I remember to this day from watching the movie “Kuffs” with Christian Slater, when I was like 11 years old.
July 3, 2009
So I’m experimenting with this new idea I just had where I’m going to pretend I’m a person from the news and write something based on that, so let me see who’s in the news today….No Michael Jackson, no Debbie Rowe, Okay got it.
Robotic Obama-
Hello, my fellow Americans, I am the newly added animatronic Obama welcoming you to the new hall of Presidents at Disney World. There are some big issues we have to face as Americans at Disney World. Issues like, who is going to pay for the funnel cakes we are going to eat for lunch, and why is the price sky rocketing to eight dollars per cake?
We are in a budget crisis. While we are having to buy funnel cakes, we don’t have enough money left over for large Diet Cokes and much less a souvenir Disney World Fedora. Our parents generation saw the need for Disney memorabilia and we can’t let that dream fail.
I stand here today with these great leaders with one main message, Buy a freeze frame photo of yourself talking to me, Robotic President Obama. We can hope that your friends will see the photo and think that your are talking to the human version of myself.
Good night.
June 25, 2009
I was at the airport the other day and I saw an older woman wearing one of those flu masks over her face. Immediately I thought, “What a bitch.” 
June 22, 2009
I’ve been job hunting. I look at the same sites everyday, and everyday I end up on Craigslist free stuff. I guess I think, “well, if I don’t have money to buy things, what can I have for free?” Then, what if you could get everything you needed for free, just by looking…would you need a job? I know, very Fight Club…
June 9, 2009
This is the Schick Quatro TrimStyle Razor. This is the worst invention ever. I haven’t conducted any research on inventions, but unless someone made an invention that basically does the same thing that five other products already do perfectly fine, there is no invention worse than the Schick Quatro Trim Style Razor. It’s as if someone from 1974 invented this, and this same person had never heard of scissors. Who are the marketing geniuses over at Schick anyway? It’s like they conducted marketing tests on a group of females who have never heard of waxing.
The only thing worse than the product itself is the commercial I saw for the product. The commercial shows young women exiting a locker room and going for a swim. On their way out of the locker room there happens to be a small shrub in the shape of a female’s pubic hair region (or what I think it looks like.) I guess to clearly illustrate what their product is to be used for. I don’t get it though, most women I talk to and see naked these days don’t even have pubic hair.
I guess the shaving world just needed something to make things exciting again.
June 4, 2009
How cool is she? I’m going as Kate Bush for Halloween, I just need to drop 50 pounds and learn to sing.
June 2, 2009
This is a picture I took at the abandoned LA Zoo. During it’s operation, many animals escaped because of inadequate living conditions.(In the depression they didn’t feed them much).
While I was exploring, I wanted to sneak in to the areas it looked like other brave people had ( I say brave because they were brave enough to spray paint). I didn’t sneak in because; number 1, I hadn’t brought my spray paint, number 2, I kept thinking a homeless person would surprise me from a corner. Now that would be some zoo.If we just put homeless people in zoo enclosures then we could visit them and watch them sleep and eat and play. What a life!
While I was leaving the park, I passed by what I thought was a deer 
but it was actually a deerdog.
May 29, 2009
Cheez-its
Cheez-it crackers are a new food product gaining quite a bit of attention in the snacking world. Cheez-it crackers are a cheese flavored, baked cracker made by Sunshine Foods. Sunshine Foods also produces, White Cheddar Cheez-its, Big Cheez-its and a lot of other cheese flavored snack foods.
I purchased the box of Cheez-its at my neighborhood CVS store (which I will review soon). The total cost of the 16 oz. box was 2.99. Turns out the total cost was not 2.99 when I went to the check out though, it ended up costing more for some reason, so for that, I will deduct some points.
Another thing I noticed, the packaging, it’s a box so it keeps your crackers from getting smooshed by feet that stomp, or babies that might fall on the box. After conducting my package test (a secret recipe) on the Cheez-it box, I found the cardboard was not protective enough against my acid based compound to hold up. On the upside, Sunshine Foods was smart enough to incase the crackers in a plastic bag inside the box, which did protect the product from the acid.
When using the Cheez –it crackers as a pillow, I found it quite comfy compared to my usual steel bucket I rest my head on, though after a few hours of sleeping and quiet seizures I noticed the crackers were all broken.
In the morning, I awoke and then opened the Cheez- it bag. I dumped all of the cracker pieces out on the bed and continued to roll about all over them. Despite the claims made by the product that it satisfies, I found it very unsatisfactory as a moisturizer or bedfellow for that matter.
In summary, if you are looking for a good place to rest your weary head, grab a box…make that a bag of Cheez-it snack crackers and get ready to sleep away those fearsome nights next to Crazy Gerald.
May 23, 2009
Two times in my life I had two different friends who have never met both suggest we go into business selling used panties. The weird thing is, these two never met until Facebook.
Now, with Facebook, these two friends of mine connected and have a lot in common, though they still don’t know about the panty thing.
I’ve been reading a lot about synchronicity lately and this just occurred to me. Is it a mere coincidence these two friends started talking to each other and both, in the past have talked to me about this business venture?
I was going to post this along with a note that said, “You should read this, you might find it, oh, how you say, interesting?” But now, I think I’ll put synchronicity to the test, if they read it, then they’ll find out about this amazing business idea they both had!
On the other hand, what if my other friends read it and think it’s about them, and then I’ll have to say, “No, it’s someone else, you never told me about your panty idea.”
I guess it’s a lesson to be learned about patents. Make sure when you tell someone about your used panty idea, that you tell them it’s patented, that way they’ll remember, and not steal it.
Photo from: American Digest.org
